Why Can't We Be Friends?

You may have noticed that there are a lot of people with dogs walking around town.  There are all types of dogs to be seen in Highland Park.  Some big, some small; some friendly, some not.  Some are good with people, but not with other dogs; some are good with dogs, but not with people. Some dogs are good with neither, and some are good with both.There are also some dog owners that are good at handling their dogs, and there are some who definitely are not.  Some allow bad behavior, while some correct it.  Some have their dogs walking respectfully by their side, and some allow their dogs (even tiny dogs) to drag them down the street.  Some even let their dogs poo on people's lawns and don't pick it up, but I already wrote that article!

With all these variables, how are you to know who is who in terms of dogs and owners?  You may or may not be a fan of dogs to begin with, but there they are walking on your side of the street.

One thing is for certain: there are always people, most often kids, who want to pet somebody's dog.  That being said, it would be helpful to know how best to approach a dog you want to pet.  In doing so, it is very important to respect the fact that a dog is not a human, and must be understood on its terms, and not ours.

First of all, ask the owner if it is okay to pet their dog.  While this may seem obvious, I can tell you first hand, it is often overlooked.  Then listen to what the owner says.  If they say no, leave it alone!  If they give the OK, then proceed to the next step.

If they give the go ahead to pet their dog, here is the safest way to go about it.  Rather than run up to the dog and startle it, approach it slowly.  It is best not to approach a dog head on, as that could be perceived as a direct challenge.  The safer way to approach a dog is at an angle or from the side.  Once you are in its personal space, allow it to come the rest of the way to you and smell you.  This is how dogs initially come to know who you are: through their nose.

Avoid direct eye contact until the dog has finished smelling you.  Direct eye contact can also be seen as a challenge.  Just be casual and let it do its thing.  This is usually just a few seconds.

Now that you have shown the dog that you understand its culture as a dog by letting it approach and smell you, and not giving it the New York City Subway stare down, it both knows and trusts you.  Once this type of trust has been established, and the owner has given permission, it is okay to pet the dog.  It is recommended that you do so initially with your palm facing out and down, and below the dog's eye level.  An elevated hand could cause the dog to jump, or even be perceived as aggression, depending on the dog's history.

While explained in great detail here, this whole process takes only a few short moments.  However, observing these principles will give you success and confidence in knowing how best to approach a dog that appeals to you or your child.

If you live in Highland Park, there is a good chance you will see me walking down your side of the street, at some point or another with Mickey, my mixed breed shelter rescue dog.  If and when you do, you can definitely feel free to practice the steps outlined above on him.  Don't forget to start by asking permission first!

One more note.  Do not make the mistake of thinking that some breeds of dogs are 'good' or approachable and others are not.  The dog's size, or breed, isn't nearly as important as how it is raised and handled by its owners -- just like kids.

Joel Levy, “The Professor of Personal Empowerment™,” is a professional speaker, personal coach, and co-owner of Family Martial Arts Academy in Highland Park. FMAA also offers dog training for both people and canines. He blogs at www.joelalevy.com.