One finds freedom in another’s veto

“Forget Hollywood! You’ve completed five fascinating film scripts that may never get produced. Some of the best writers in Hollywood can’t get their films produced. With all the new digital technology nowadays you can produce your own feature films probably for under thirty thousand. I know you two can do it!”

 

This advice by Mark Herman —- our Hollywood editor friend whose heart is with indie movies, although he finds the visuals and music of big budget movies so much more exciting to work with than micro-budget ventures —- started my wife Lee and me on a four-year journey resulting in our first feature film, FINAL GIFTS.

To keep it all “under thirty thousand,” our screenplay for FINAL GIFTS was designed to require only two actors, a black space, a table and chairs.

We studied MY DINNER WITH ANDRE and Bergman’s PERSONA. FINAL GIFTS was not alone in its simplicity, though both of those classic films had huge budgets compared to our meager supply of moolah.

A Jewish pediatrician in Warsaw in World War II tried to save the lives of suffering children, and smuggled guns for the Warsaw Uprising against the Nazis. A Salvadoran peasant, her village massacred by the Reagan-supported fascist army, was given refuge by the revolutionary army, and became a guerrilla leader in the Salvadoran Civil War. In our story based on historical events and real people, these two women meet each other after death, in a meeting that brings out their loves and losses, their joys and sorrows, and begins the healing of their spirits.

With Mark Herman’s inspiration, we now no longer had to endure endless rejections by producers who would probably see no profit in such a film.

The filmscript was quite good, and I was quite satisfied with it, but Lee had an urge for perfection, which I surrendered to unwillingly. We wrote and rewrote and rewrote. Since we have given each other a veto over anything we don’t like, my unwilling surrender began to build up resentment, and we needed some real relationship skills to deal with our feelings.

Those relationship skills, hard-earned in therapy and spiritual work, would be sorely tested in the three-plus years to come. We auditioned actors, disagreed violently (but not disrespectfully) about casting, found a large studio in which to shoot and a skilled director of photography, and carried out a thirteen-day shoot filled with love and laughter and tears.

After three months debating the paper edit, working weekends for 18 months with a charming, funny, mellow, songwriter/film editor, and tearing our hair joyfully, it was on to the marketing. We debated (sometimes a wee bit sourly) about the DVD artwork and the press kit, and how to begin the groundwork for no-budget ‘guerrilla marketing’ — WHEW!

In meeting the challenge of wife and husband working so intimately on a work of art, giving each other a veto helped tremendously. Because we so often disagreed about which take of an actress was best, or about how much perfection to strive for. Disagreements could cause bad feelings, but we slowly but surely discovered more and more love for each other, each time we turned away from the pain of disagreement and gently, sweetly, returned to what was most important —- our love.

Neil R. Selden, a licensed psychotherapist, lives, works, and creates in Highland Park. You can e-mail him at: wayhaven@aol.com.